A Slap in the Facebook...

I'll admit it, I have a slight addiction to Facebook. I enjoy checking it on a daily (sometimes more than daily) basis to see what's going on in the world of social networking. I love catching up with friends who live far away, or even looking through pictures of old friends to see where they are now. I would say that I mainly use it for pictures. And a little bit of stalking (you all do it, don't deny it). You know you want to see if Jerry from grade 4 got married (which would shock the hell out of you because he used to eat glue right from the bottle) or if Jessica from high school ended up having like 12 kids and got really fat (who knew she was a born again Christian now and has devoted her life to helping the less fortunate?). And of course, there are some people you wish the best for. Like poor little...ok I don't really have an example. But I'm sure there's people we wish the best for.

All joking aside (I'm pretty sure I was kidding?), there are some things on Facebook that annoy the crap out of me. Things that so many people are guilty of doing. So many to the point where I didn't post this in my Facebook notes because over half my Facebook friends would think I was talking directly about them (which is pretty much true...so I hide behind the blog that no one really reads because I am a coward! haha). But I digress. So here is a list of a bunch of random things that piss me off about Facebook. 'Cause I'm in the business of complaining (that, and most self respecting people probably agree with me).

*Just a side note: If you do any of the following, please stop. Unless you do it in a funny or ironic way. Then you may carry on.

1. Updating your status with completely boring information.
Please stop this. I don't care that you got up and had a piece of toast. Then you brushed your teeth. Then you went to the store to buy fish. And so on. Unless it's funny or even remotely interesting, it's not status worthy. Mundane stuff like that belongs in the diary you write that no one else reads. Or not, because then when you read it years later you will think, "Man, I'm boring."

2. Updating your status with spelling errors.
This is just a personal pet peeve of mine. I get so annoyed when people use "your" instead of "you're" or "there" instead of "their" or "they're." This is stuff we learned in elementary school, people! Take two seconds to spell check your status before hitting "share!" If the person does it once in a while, I'm ok with that. I still chuckle a little and make fun of the spelling error (even more so if I do it...totally embarrassing), but there are some people who consistantly do it. Those are the people I'm talking about here.

3. Spoiling season finales.
This has happened on several occasions. I seem to always miss the season finale of my favourite shows, just because I'm busy that night. I usually end up watching them online the next weekend when I have a bit more time. Or I've missed the entire season so I'm waiting til the dvd comes out to watch it. In any case, not EVERYONE watches the season finale when it's first on. That being said, it is not fair that it is spoiled by some idiot on Facebook saying "Oh my God, I can't believe _____ happened in the season finale of Dexter!" (That is a direct paraphrase from my Facebook news feed). So now season 4 is kind of ruined for me. I haven't even finished watching it, but I know what happens. I also had the ending of Lost spoiled for me. And Glee. And Grey's Anatomy. Maybe it's my fault for not watching the season finale the second it's on. But people don't do that for movies. You wouldn't catch someone saying, "I can't believe Darth Vadar was Luke's father!" had Facebook been around when Empire Strikes Back came out. And if you did, people would defriend him in two seconds. Maybe I should defriend these people...
Sorry if I spoiled Empire Strikes Back for anyone.

4. My mother on Facebook.
I sure hope she doesn't read my blog.

5. Farmville or any other Facebook game.
I do not care that you need more people to join so your cows will be fed or whatever the whole point of the game is. PLEASE stop inviting me or posting about it on Facebook! Sure, there's an option to block it, but as soon as you block that one, a variation of it pops up with someone no doubt inviting people to play. Luckily this practice has died down a bit since they were introduced, however it still exists. Maybe a protest is necessary.

6. People who add you and then never talk to you.
I've had this happen a few times. I've accepted the friendship of someone I knew along time ago. Time goes by and I hear nothing from them. So I send them a quick "Hi, how've you been these past few years?" No response. What was the point of adding me if you never respond? It's one thing if you're never on Facebook, but I can see all these updates on the news feed. I know you're there. Then it's a delete. And three weeks later they're requesting friendship again. Uh, I don't think so.

7. The middle name thing.
What's up with that? Unless you go by your first and middle name in real life, why are you putting it as your name on Facebook?

8. People who announce celebrity deaths.
We are aware that Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze (nooo!!!) and Farrah Fawcett are dead. Unless this pertains directly to you, why must you plaster it all over Facebook? Unless it's funny. Dark comedy is always appreciated. But seriously, there were so many "R.I.P. Brittany Murphy" and "so sad to hear about Gary Coleman" (although most of the status updates on Gary were hilarious). So annoying.

9. People who have the same status as 14 million other people.
Yes, we all saw that there was an earthquake in Ontario (I'm pretty sure the devastation caused was a patio chair being knocked over). Yes, we know that there was a tornado warning. If it's in the news, chances are we already know about it and are reading 50% of our friends statuses on the subject. Don't be a statistic.

10. The sympathy seeker.
"Leslie is so sad." Hmmm, are you possibly trying to get people to shower you with attention so you can feel better about yourself? And of course you didn't say why you were sad so that people would ask and you could talk about it. Not cool, Leslie. Not cool.

11. The guy who invites you to a million events that you are obviously not interested in.
Great, you're having a fifteen minute show at 11:57pm on a Tuesday night 2 hours from where I live when I have to work the next morning at 8am like a regular person. Why would you ever think that I had any desire to go to your event? Oh, right, because you just invited EVERYONE on your list without thinking.

12. People who constantly declare their love for each other via Facebook.
Ok. You're in love. More in love than anyone has ever been in love before. No one else's relationship can compare to what the two of you share. We get it. But you live together. You see each other every day. Do you really need to post on each other's wall about how much you love them or about that funny thing they said this morning while making coffee and thus have it come up on my newsfeed? Probably not. But you do it any way. This is why I have blocked you from my newsfeed. Why haven't I defriended you? Because I probably don't want to offend you. And because I'm stupid. That's why. But seriously, folks, there's a private inbox. Or I'm sure you both have cell phones. Text each other. Call each other. Send private smoke signals (although chances are I'd see them and get annoyed). Just keep it to yourselves.

13. My mother on facebook.
Did I say that one already?

14. People who announce they're going to delete Facebook. And then don't.
If you're deleting Facebook for real and want to let people know so you can add them to MSN or get their email address, that's fine. I understand that. Most people send private messages to those who they actually care about. However, those who announce they're thinking of getting rid of Facebook and then don't due to all the people saying, "No, Leslie, don't delete Facebook, we love you!" are annoying. Still not cool, Leslie.

Please feel free to let me know what annoys you about Facebook!

P.S. I am aware that if it bugs me so much I should just delete it. But how would I stalk Leslie and Jessica and that weird kid from 4th grade who ate glue?